The Art of Latinating
by poestheblackcat
Summary: Latinating with Lindsey. "McDonald Boys" verse, post "Sky's Gonna Open."


Summary: Latinating with Lindsey. "McDonald Boys" verse, post "Sky's Gonna Open."

This is a collection of drabbles that have to do with Latin and Lindsey speaking or using Latin. That Lindsey likes doing this when he feels like being stuck-up (Eliot's words, not mine) was first established in "Three Times Eliot Showed up at Lindsey's Place," and was continued in "The Sky's Gonna Open."

I may add more to this later, if I think of more Lindsey-Latin situations.

Reminder: I have never taken Latin, and know nothing about it, so if there's anything wrong, that's why. Feel free to correct me if you find anything that needs fixing. For this story only, I'm going to have the translations (taken from Wiki and other Latin translation sites) at the bottom of each drabble. That should be easier than scrolling all the way down every time a bit of Latin pops up. If it feels like I'm just squeezing Latin in anywhere I can, there's something wrong with you eyes and it's _totally_ not what's going on. *nods*

_Frúitis!_ Enjoy!

Oh yeah! Look! I did story art for this verse! *points up at banner thingy at the top of the page* If you want to see a much bigger version of it, go to my LJ (same username).

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**The Art of Latinating**

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_**Lusum**_

Summary: Lindsey and Nate have a friendly competition...in Latin.

. . .

They have two marks this time. Right now, one of them is making a speech to the rest of the party-goers about how wonderful the other guy is, and the other guy is insisting that it was all the first guy's hard, diligent work that got them where they are now.

Well, basically. All it really is is a whole bunch of bullshit because it was guy number three (the man who got fired and is now the team's client) who did all the work.

Lindsey gives a low whistle from his location in the crowd near the exit. _"Asinus asinum fricat. _Sure brings back old memories," he mutters under his breath, making Nate choke on his champagne.

"Don't you mean '_asinus ad lyram'?"_ the mastermind replies when he stops coughing.

Lindsey snickers. "Ooh, good one. How about '_barba tenus sapientes'?"_

"Well," Nate returns, "as they say,_ 'de gustubus non est disputandum.'"_

Lindsey is about to counter with his move when Eliot interrupts from the van. "Would you two stop it with the Latin! It's enough that Hardison and Linny're geeks, but you really don't hafta encourage him, Nate!"

"Hey," Hardison cuts in, "Don't bring me into it. I'm with you, lil' man. I don't understand a word comin' outta their mouths. Not fair, dudes. Just because the rest of us ain't college ed-_du_-cated, don't mean we dumb, y'all."

Sophie sighs and pretends to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear so that she can talk into her earbud without the people around her noticing. "Boys, why don't you have a rematch at home, _after_ the job, hmm? _Cum mortuis in lingua mortua."_

In the silence that follows her suggestion, Lindsey says, "Is it just me, or did Sophie just get a _lot_ hotter?"

"_Ewww!"_

Nate growls for show, while silently agreeing with Lindsey's assessment of the increased _venustas_ of Sophie.

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Translations:

_Lusum_ - Banter

_Asinus asinum fricat_ - The jackass rubs the jackass. Used to describe two people lavishing excessive praise on one another.

_Asinum ad lyram - _An ass to the lyre. An awkward or incompetent individual.

_Barba tenus sapientes_ - Wise as far as the beard, or wise only in appearance.

_De gustibus non est disputandum_ - There is no disputing about tastes. Less literally, "There's no accounting for taste."

_Cum mortuis in lingua mortua_ - With the dead in a dead language

_Venustas_ - Attractiveness

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**And the Geek Shall Inherit the Earth**

Summary: Hardison has been indecisive about the level of Lindsey's overall geekiness until now. After all, he looks like Eliot.

. . .

Sure, he knows that the man had been a lawyer in a past life, that he is sometimes given to quoting obscure Latin phrases just for the heck of it, and that Eliot insists on calling him a geek. However, Hardison has been relatively indecisive about the exact level of Lindsey's overall geekiness because no one who looks like Eliot could possibly be considered a true geek.

Until now, that is.

"_Ex astris sciencis,"_ Lindsey says, when it is revealed that the team is going to "go steal a spaceship."

That's what does it. This, coupled with his comment the previous week about _"corruptus in extremis"_ elevates Lindsey McDonald from "Possible Geek" to "Extreme Geek Status" in the hacker's eyes.

"Ooh-ooh! I know this one!" Hardison says, bouncing on the couch and interrupting Nate's customary abrupt exit. "I know what this one means!"

"What?"

"You're a Trekkie!" he exclaims, and gives Lindsey the Vulcan salute. "You are, ain'tcha?"

Lindsey gives him a blank look. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"You're a _Star Trek_ fan _and_ you watch _The Simpsons!"_ Hardison says excitedly. "Don't deny it! You quoted both of them. Today, and last week! _'Corruptus in extremis'_ is the motto of the Springfield Mayor Office, and _'ex astris sciencia' _is the motto of the Starfleet Academy! You one of us, man!"

"I don't watch TV," Lindsey says, completely deadpan.

Behind him, Eliot and Parker stifle giggles, while Sophie hides a smile behind her cup of tea. Nate settles down into an armchair to watch the scene unfold.

"But- but..." Hardison trails off, looking like a kicked puppy.

"Come on," Lindsey says as he stands up and stretches, "Who cares if I am what you say I am or not? _Cui bono?_ We still got work to do."

He walks out of the room with a smirk. Upon his exit, Parker and Eliot finally dissolve in bouts of belly-shaking laughter at the ecstatic expression on Hardison's face.

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Translations:

_Ex astris scientia_ - From the Stars, Knowledge. The motto of the Starfleet Academy on _Star Trek_

_Corruptus in extremis - _Corrupt to the Extreme. The motto of the Springfield Mayor Office on _The Simpsons_

_Cui bono_ - Good for whom? Also "Who benefits?" The motto of the Crime Syndicate of America. For those who don't know, they're the evil counterparts of the Justice League.

We got work to do - This may or may not be an allusion to _Supernatural_. Up to you.

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**Illumination**

Summary: Let there be light.

. . .

The lights go out suddenly, prompting a team-wide collective curse.

"_Hardison, was that you?"_

"_Naw, wa'n't me."_

"_Can you get them back on?"_

"_Already workin' on it. Hold on."_ Tapping._ "Sorry, has to be manual."_

"_I can do it, but I don't have a flashlight."_

"_Here, let me. _Fiat lux. _There ya go."_

"_Ooh, your hand's glowing. That's a neat trick."_

"_Hurry up. I can't keep it up forever."_

The lights flicker back on.

"_All done. Hey, you turned your hand off."_

An auditory version of the puppy-dog eyes accompanies Parker's complaint.

Lindsey sighs and mutters the spell again. "Fiat lux. _There ya go. Happy?"_

"_Shiiiinyyyy."_

"_Don't even _think_ about stealin' my hand, Parker."_

"_Awww."_

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Translation:

_Fiat lux_ - Let light be made. Less literally, "Let there be light."

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**Latin 101**

Summary: Lindsey gives a lesson in Latin.

. . .

"_Taciam ut mei menimeris?"_ reads Lindsey, looking at the words of one of the Russian flunkies he's fighting has tattooed on his arm. "What is that supposed to mean?"

"Eet ah-means, 'I weel-ah make you-ah remembarr me,'" the gangbanger growls contemptuously with a heavy accent.

Lindsey snorts derisively. "Yeah, I sure will," he says, dodging a fist, "Especially because _'taciam'_ means 'silently,' not 'I will make,' which, by the way, is _'faciam.'_ And _'menimeris'_ isn't a word. I think what you meant was _'memineris,'_ with 'm-i-n' not 'n-i-m.'"

He swings left, and puts a fist in the middle of his opponent's chest. "That's the second-person singular future perfect active indicative of _'menimi,'_ which is 'to remember.'"

"_Linny, quit it with the Latin lesson, already,"_ scolds Eliot over the coms. _"No one's listening."_

"You're listening, right, Sergei?" Lindsey asks the groaning Russian. "Of course, Russian is a Slavic language, so Latin is probably pretty difficult for you. But you really should've done the research before you had a bunch of gibberish etched permanently on your arm.

"But not to worry. I will definitely remember you," he finishes, putting the bewildered man down with one more punch.

"_You done?"_

"Yes. Hey, d'ya think I'd make a good professor? I've always wanted to be a teacher."

Eliot groans and buries his face in his hands.

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Translation:

_Faciam ut mei memineris_ - I'll make you remember me, from Platus. Used by Russian hooligans as a tattoo inscription.

_Taciam_ - silently

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**Up to the Sky and Down to the Depths**

Summary: Lindsey settles the argument between the two Irish mob guys from "The Boys Night Out Job" once and for all.

(What? I liked Liam and Not-Liam [named Connor, according to IMDb].)

. . .

"It isn't!"

"It is!"

"No, it's not!"

The argument between the two guys in front of him in the line for coffee reminds Lindsey of the often nonsensical squabbles between Eliot and himself.

"Liam," the taller guy says huffily, hands gesturing wildly, "the church basement _is_ holy ground! If the church is holy, and the ground under the church is holy, then the basement is holy."

"But it's the basement!" exclaims Liam. "The basement is not holy."

"Is too."

"Is not."

"Does the basement in question belong to the church that's above it?" asks Lindsey, unable to help butting in.

"What?" say the brothers or cousins - they have to be related - in unison.

"This basement you're arguing about. Does it belong to the church?"

"Yes," says Not-Liam, sounding self-satisfied. "It does."

"Well then there ya go," Lindsey says, "Legally, if the basement belongs to the church, and the land the church was built on was blessed, then the blessing applies to the ground _and_ the entire building, including the basement. This is according to the principle, _a caelo usque ad centrum._ Trust me, I'm a lawyer."

Liam and Not-Liam look at him blankly. Not-Liam, with his lips moving silently, finally untangles Lindsey's meaning and turns to his companion with a resounding "Ha! The church basement is holy ground, and _that_ means killing a man in the church basement _is_ a sin!"

Lindsey doesn't bother to correct the obvious other fallacy in Liam's argument.

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Translation:

_A caelo usque ad centrum_ - From the sky to the center. This also means, "From heaven all the way to the center of the earth." Wiki says that "in law, can refer to the obsolete _cuius est solum eius est usque ad coelum et ad inferos_ maxim of property ownership ("for whoever owns the soil, it is theirs up to the sky and down to the depths"). I looked it up, and it's only obsolete because of modern air rights and subsurface rights (ex: airplanes and subways). "Property holders generally have a right to the space immediately above and below the ground."

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**Bonus**

And a last little bonus. This one doesn't require a summary.

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"_Anglice,_ Lindsey!"

"Now who's the geek?" _Thwack!_ "Ow! You're an abusive little midget, ya know that?"

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Translation:

_Anglice_ - In English


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